Offsider
We take the admin off you
Book 15 minutes
Melbourne · For businesses where the admin lands on someone who should be doing the actual work

Where does your week actually go?

Fifteen minutes on the phone. We map where the hours leak, work out the one job costing you the most, and build something that takes it off you. No software to buy and nothing to learn.

Nothing is sold in the fifteen minutes. That's the point of it.
Someone doing the paperwork at a bench after close, phone to their ear.
Whoever's week this is
The whole thing, in twenty-five seconds
Silent · nothing to click
That sheet is a finished one, filled in for a business we made up. Yours starts blank.
The diagnostic

We haven't filled this in yet, because we haven't met you

Every other mob will tell you what's wrong with your business before they've spoken to you. We won't — we don't know yet. So the first thing we do is fill this in with you, line by line, in your words.

Week audit
No. 0001
Business
What you do
Where the hours go
Hrs / wk
01
Enquiries nobody got to
02
Quotes and proposals written after hours
03
Chasing people who said they'd get back to you
04
Rebooking when things run over
05
Invoices that went out late
06
The same question answered forty times a week
07
The thing you'd never think to mention
Total
Not yet measured
15 MIN
On the phone, or at your place if you're in Melbourne.
A$ 0
Free, and there's no pitch at the end of it.
YOURS
You keep the filled-in sheet whether you work with us or not.
THEN
We point at the biggest number on it and start there.
This sheet is the entire pitch.
What we actually do

Three steps. That's the whole business.

A week getting mapped: paper on a table, someone talking
01

We sit down and map your week

Fifteen minutes and one sheet of paper. Where the calls come in, who answers them, and what happens after six.

Measuring something real, a diagnostic in progress
02

We find the one thing costing you most

Not everything — one. And if that thing turns out not to be worth fixing, we'll say so and leave you be.

The job being done properly: hands, screen, work
03

We build it, and run it by hand first

A person does the job manually until it's proven. If it doesn't hold up by hand, it doesn't get automated.

Here's one we built

This one answers the phone, because that's what the business we built it for needed. We also build things that follow up, things that chase what gets forgotten, and things that move information between systems nobody wants to retype. What yours is depends on what the sheet says.

A person mid-job with a phone in hand
Made up on purpose

Ring it, and it answers as your business

Tell us your business name and what you do, and we'll send you a link. Press the button and talk to a receptionist that knows your trade and your services — and says up front that it's an AI.

Before you pay us

It gets built for you before you've paid us anything. That's the point of it — you shouldn't have to take our word that we can build.

See a demo link →
Worth saying twice

It can't book you in, and nobody gets sent out. It takes the details and hands them to a person.

Here's one we built

We're new, so we haven't got a wall of client logos to show you. What we've got is a working one you can ring right now. We invented the business it answers for — a phone was the quickest thing to build and the easiest thing to judge. We also build things that follow up, chase what gets forgotten, and move information between systems nobody wants to retype. What yours is depends on what the sheet says.

A tradesperson mid-job with a phone in hand.
The one we can show you

We built one for a plumber who doesn't exist

Reilly Plumbing isn't a real business and Michael isn't a real person — we made them up so there'd be something to ring. The agent is real. It picks up, says straight away that it's an AI, and takes the job the way it would for you.

Before you pay us

Yours gets built before you've paid us anything — on your real business, in your words, doing whatever the sheet said was worth taking off you. Until then, judge us on the made-up one.

Ring the one we built →
Worth saying twice

Nothing you say to the demo is booked or kept, and it never reaches a person. There's no van and no Michael waiting at the other end.

The honest bit

What we will not tell you

You've had someone sell you something before. So here's the list of things we've decided we're not allowed to say, written down before you ask.

NO

"Businesses lose 30% of enquiries to missed calls"

We won't quote you an industry statistic. We didn't measure it, and neither did the bloke who made it up. The only numbers you'll get from us are ones we counted in your business.

NO

"It books straight into your calendar"

It doesn't. It takes the details and passes them to you, and you decide whether the job goes in the diary. We're not letting software commit your Tuesday.

NO

"It handles your emergencies"

Nobody is dispatched by us, ever. If a caller mentions gas, flooding, a shock or someone hurt, it reads a fixed safety script, refuses to take a booking, and flags the call for a person straight away. It is not an emergency service and we will never describe it as one.

NO

"Your customers won't know"

It says it's an AI at the start of every call, and there's no setting to turn that off. If that costs you a job, it was going to cost you that job later and worse.

NO

"You need this"

We're still working out what your business actually needs — that's what the fifteen minutes is for. If yours turns out to be a whiteboard and a different Tuesday, we'll tell you that and you'll never hear from us again.

The room we work out of
Who you'd be dealing with

Three people. One of them builds it.

A small Melbourne outfit. One of us writes the software, the other two do the legwork — the interviews, the phone calls, the follow-ups.

That's it. No account manager, no offshore support desk, no ticket number. When you ring, you get one of the three of us, and it'll usually be the one who built the thing you're ringing about. We're small enough that we can't afford to muck you around.

The inbox
offsider.net.au@gmail.com
All three of us are in it. You'll get an answer the same day.

Fifteen minutes. That's all we're after.

We'll ask about your week and write it down. If there's nothing there worth building, we'll tell you, and that's the end of it.

Book 15 minutes
Offsider
We take the admin off you

Australian for the person who works alongside you on a job. Three of us, in Melbourne.

Write to us
offsider.net.au@gmail.com

One inbox. All three of us are in it, and it's answered the same day.

Or book the fifteen minutes →
Socials
Instagram
@offsider.au
LinkedIn
YouTube

The other two are blank because they're not up yet. Better an empty line than an empty account.

Offsider · Melbourne, Australia
We also built Wired to Perform, the training app.